Suburban Commando (1991)

Right Suburb. Wrong Planet. 

So it may not be an exploitation film and there certainly aren't any boobies in it (at least not the female variety) but I'm sick with a fever and when I randomly (unless you're a theological determinist in which case nothing is random, which is a scary thought because if God is purposely reminding me of crappy early '90s kid's movies, he's kind of an ass) came across the poster for this piece of gold/crap, and a wave of nostalgia and nausea hit me simultaneously. 

Every summer I go to the city fair or carnival or exhibition or whatever you want to call it and I see the Gravitron (that spinny-droppy seizure lights ride) and I think, "Man I should go on that ride for old time sake."  Relive my childhood!  Nostalgia and shit!  And then I remember how it always made my uvula hit the back of my throat and trigger my gag reflex and I spent the whole ride trying not to throw up.

Well, Suburban Commando is like that.  It's a ride that I'm just not going to get back on because I'm already sick to my stomach and I don't want to puke.

But if you hate yourself, the whole movie is on YouTube.  Or if you have a case of beer and a couple of hours to kill, it's probably a pretty good drinkin' movie.  Beer makes everything good.

You're welcome.

Here's the trailer.


Francis Lee said...

This was shocking but I never tried beer!

DrunkethWizerd said...

Yeah I used to watch this movie all the time. I'll still watch it if it comes on. Also, the Gravitron kicked ass. Except for the time I stepped in some kids puke like a dumbass.

"You're a dead man Ramsey!!"

D4 said...

Gee, thanks for getting me to watch a pretty good piece of crap. Beats TV actually..

T. Roger Thomas said...

I've seen this movie and it is laughably bad.

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