3/9/12

Nude For Satan (1974) Review

I heard that this movie was such a failure when it was originally released in Italy back in 1974 that they kept it under lock and key even when all of the Eurosleaze was being re-released on VHS in the '80s and 90s.  It wasn't until fairly recently that it finally came out on DVD and in my opinion, it could have stayed in the vault.  Is that too harsh?  Well, perhaps.

The problem I had with Nude for Satan is that it's too damn slow, and not just slow but excruciatingly so.  Don't get me wrong, many of my favorite films are paced quite slowly because that's how suspense it built but this film is just... not... good.  It's like director Luigi Batzella tried very hard to make this into a Joe D'Amato or Jess Franco erotic horror clone but failed.  It has the nudity, and Gothic atmosphere and stupid, simple plot like Franco and D'Amato films but it just doesn't come together.

The camera work is laughable at times and distracts from what little plot there is, and the special effects are absolutely atrocious.  But I actually like the terrible special effects.  There is a giant spider that is so horribly constructed that it has to be seen to be believed.  It looks like a drunk five year old made it out of paper mache and pipe cleaners or something, and when our protagonist Dr. Benson (Stelio Candelli) frantically rushes/saunters into the room to save our heroine Susan (Rita Calderoni) by shooting it off her chest, the fog machines are clearly visible which makes it look like things are exploding inside the room.  Like I said, these things I actually like.  They add character to the film but the constant panning and tilting of the camera angered up my blood.

"Allow me to explain through interpretive dance."
So the story begins with the good doctor speeding to an emergency house-call in the country when he comes upon an accident in the road.  I guess it's an accident.  There's a woman (Susan) in a perfectly fine automobile on the side of the road.  Dr. Benson promises to go find help and discovers a scary, old mansion so he goes and knocks on the door.  Inside is a crazy, laughing, toothless man and some people getting it on, and a woman who looks exactly like the woman who was in the accident.  The strange thing (as if the other things aren't strange) is that she keeps calling him Peter and tells him that she has been waiting for him.  Weird.  Later Susan does show up at the mansion and meets a guy who looks just like Dr. Benson but who insists on calling her Evelyn.  Also weird.

There's also a guy in the house who looks like he stole Bela Lugosi's Dracula costume, and I guess this guy is supposed to be the Devil which doesn't make any sense because he performs Satanic rituals and calls on demons to do his bidding.  And so Dr. Benson wanders around the estate and looks confused for 82 minutes and Susan spends half the movie with her boob hanging out as they try to figure out what's going on in this twisted house which serves as a metaphor for their own twisted psyches.  Deep stuff right there. 

There are a couple of reasons to watch this movie.  Obviously there's the nudity and there's quite a bit of it.  Boobs and bush are everywhere and there's even a Gothic interpretive-dance sequence that turns into an orgy.  There's also an uncut version where some hardcore scenes are added to the softcore stuff but I haven't seen it.  Also Nude For Satan might be worth seeing just because it's an example of the low budget sexploitation horror that came out of Italy in the mid '70s.  It has historical value!  But if you are looking for a good movie, this isn't it.  If you're looking for a so-bad-it's-good movie this might fit the bill, but for me this movie isn't all bad but it's not exactly good either.  It could have stayed in the vault and I wouldn't have cared.

Violence Rating/Index:  3 out of 5
Booby Rating/Index:  5 out of 5  - Click to see the nude scenes.


8 comments:

Trey said...

I'm with you on this film. It does have a cool title though.

The Angry Lurker said...

It still got 5 out of 5 for boobs.....

D4 said...

I saw the title and I was all "fuck yeah!" then.. even you didn't like it. I'm shocked it's really that bad.

Jay said...

yum. :D

That Bastard From Bellingham said...

Rawkin' bewbage, horrible special effects.

OHHHH boy, this one sounds like one to rip up on a Saturday with yer best bros~!

Thanks for the heads up, Banacek...despite the fugly camerawork, still sounds like something I oughta see just to say I saw it and lived through it.

meandmythinkingcap said...

This looks scary. Sometimes I think that old movies cant scare me but sometimes, that is how me - the baby like sleeper turns to be a insomniac.

T. Roger Thomas said...

Who would have guessed that a movie with the name Nude for Satan would be too slow?

Melanie said...

OK, if you say its bad, I am not gonna watch, BUT, it was released in a great year (if I do say so myself) AND I LOVE the hell out of the title. Because if you were to be nude for anyone it would HAVE to be Satan. Right?

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