2/28/12

Porkchop (2010) Review

Partying, Mayhem and Gore... '80s Style

I know this may come as a surprise to some of you, but I watch a lot of low-budget shite, and when I sat down to watch Porkchop that's pretty much what I expected - low budget shite.  And that's what this movie delivered.  However, along with this shite, Porkchop also delivered some pure freakin' gold.  In fact, I couldn't believe how much I liked this movie.  It's like a bizarre combination of shit and gold... a golden shit nugget.  Porkchop is a golden shit nugget.

It's like everyone involved knows they're in a $10 000 movie so they don't take things too seriously or try to make it into something it's not.  It's an '80 slasher throwback not a cerebral art-house piece. The acting is atrocious which only adds to the appeal of the movie and some of the dialogue is so bad that it made me groan and then laugh out loud.  Maybe that's what makes this movie so appealing: the charisma of the actors.  They awkwardly deliver their crappy lines and then you feel compelled to laugh along with them because they're so likeable.

Porkchop is a tale of a killer and some campers.  That's pretty much the plot.  Six young acquaintances and an uncouth robot head out into the wilds of West Virginia to do some drinking and merrymaking.  Around the campfire a tale is told of a bulbous, redneck killer who wears the head of a pig upon his own and hunts those who intrude into his woods.  Only it isn't just a story.  It's true!  Porkchop lives and breathes and kills in these wooded hills of West Virginia and he begins hunting down these campers one by one.  After one of the ladies has sex with the robot, of course.

If you haven't noticed I liked this movie quite a bit.  I wish there were more boobies but not too many movies feature robot coitus, so it has that going for it.  Also one of the girls gets a chainsaw in the cooch which was good to see, or not good to see depending on your perspective.

So in conclusion, if you only see one '80s throwback slasher with robot-fucking this year, make sure it's Porkchop.  It truly is a golden shit nugget.

Wait!  I have to do a pun on the name Porkchop...  Porkchop, it truly is a choice cut.  A cut above?  Bloody good?  Ah whatever.

Violence Rating: 4 out of 5
Booby Rating: 3 out of 5


12 comments:

Alex Jowski said...

A killer pig-man AND robot fucking? I am so watching this movie NOW!

Sub-Radar-Mike said...

Wow, you know it's going to be good when even the screen shots look corny haha.

Bersercules said...

As I read your review I eagarly looked for one word! Boobies! Glad to see this movie has them! When I go to watch a movie I don't know if its gonna be good or bad but if it has boobies then its worth watching!

(I like seeing the boobie ratings for movies too!)

The Angry Lurker said...

It's a bloody awful classic.......

DWei said...

How does one see out of another creature's head? I bet the inside tastes delicious though.

D4 said...

Alright, for the most part I'm not really feeling for it.. but the saw to the cooch, it's got me hooked.

Henry said...

I'm in it for the robot.

Ahem.

T. Roger Thomas said...

You're saying this movie has a robot, a cute girl in tall socks and horror? I might have to seek out this movie.

meandmythinkingcap said...

Indie movies are fun sometimes. This one, i have no words.

That Bastard From Bellingham said...

Worst part about it is that the robot looks like he has the most character out of all of 'em!

Plus this is now a perfect 80's movie. The only thing missing is a montage of some sort.

But it's got dat robot, redneck killers, saggy titties, pork helmets, teenagers fucking in the woods and laugh track provided by the viewer.

Time to get my hands on THIS 'un!

Alex DeLarge said...

Small budget horror films can't go wrong when there's nudity involved.

Bonjour Tristesse said...

So bad it's good. I might have to watch just for the robot sex.

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