2/17/12

Jesus, Aliens, and Nicolas Cage

I was walking downtown yesterday and I stopped to cross the street when I saw a guy pushing a stroller out of my peripheral vision.  He was quietly walking past and keeping to himself so I didn't pay much attention until he stopped and said, "Excuse me."

Now I figured he just wanted to know what time it was because people stop to ask me that all the time.  I must have a face that tells people that this is a man who knows what time it is.  But he didn't ask for the time.  He asked, "Do you believe in God?"  I'm sure most people would try to wriggle out of such a situation and get the fuck away from anyone who wants to discuss theology on a random street corner.  Not me.  I find pleasure in introducing Eastern philosophy and historical anthropology to these street missionaries and in turn, discovering their understanding of Christianity.  I have a background in Religious Studies but in many ways their understanding of Christianity is better than mine because, you know, I'm a Buddhist and all.

However, upon closer inspection I discovered that this was not a typical missionary wanting to talk about the saving power of Jesus Christ.  In this guy's stroller was a set of overturned golf clubs, some batteries and a couple of blankets, and he wore a ratty old gray sweater tucked into his unwashed acid-washed jeans.  Still, I was curious about what he had to say, but when the discussion turned to the Book of Enoch and the Genesis stories about how the angels came to Earth to ravage human woman I was about ready to go.  Sure, it's briefly mentioned in the Bible but this guy was fixated on human-angel lovin'.  The only time he mentioned Jesus at all was when he said he stared at him for 25 minutes in his prison cell one day and his cellmate saw the same thing and passed out on a table.  He just kept rambling on about the end times, his visions of God, and angels having sex with humans.  Then he used the show "Ancient Aliens" as evidence that his interpretation of scripture and the non-canonical Book of Enoch is true.

Long story short, the guy reminded me of Nicolas Cage so here's a video him screaming his way through 100 of his greatest movie quotes... and also one of him wearing a bear suit and punching some chick in the face.



4 comments:

Film Geek Bastard said...

LOL at Nicolas Cage.

Henry said...

Haha, crazies and religion just go together.

D4 said...

What the.. Nicholas Cage. It's like I'm focused on your story here, and I shouldn't be laughing, but I am. You're confusing my senses.

That Bastard From Bellingham said...

HOW DID IT GET BERRRRRRRRRRRRRND?!!!!

Wow. Is there ANY movie Nicholas Cage can't do? The Wicker Man is the greatest remake in all of remakes, rehashes, and sequels.

Seriously. We need the Bible narrated by Nicholas Cage. I can completely see him as Moses.

Not even jokin', yo.

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