Monday, July 25, 2011

Simon, King of the Witches (1971)

The Evil Spirit Must Choose Evil!

Simon, King of the Witches
Screw Harry Potter, this hippie was the real king of the witches.  At least he's supposed to be, but he comes across as being rather lame; quite powerful but still lame.  What kind of a witch-king always wears an ascot?  Simon, King of the Witches is marketed as a bloody, Satanic orgy-fest but it's really just a character study of a San Francisco vagrant with a knowledge of the occult and real supernatural powers.

As an indication of the success of Simon Sinestrari (Andrew Prine) he lives in a storm drain, which doesn't make much sense to me because he has real powers and could improve his living arrangements quite easily.  He does later, but I'll get to that in a second.

So, Simon wanders the streets of San Francisco when it rains because the trickle of water in his home becomes a torrent and would wash him out to sea.  He is picked up by the police for vagrancy and held at the station where he meets a young hustler (George Paulsin) and they become friends.

After their release, Turk introduces Simon to a wealthy, counterculture Bohemian called Hercules who likes to throw parties where people indulge in activities which aren't part of the "establishment," and then bump uglies.  Simon becomes a sort of entertainer for these well-to-do elites as a psychic and seller of occult trinkets.  He also becomes enamored by the beautiful daughter (Brenda Scott) of the District Attorney and they begin a romance.   His situation improves and with the money he makes from these parties he is able to move out of his storm drain and into a basement apartment where he can perform his rituals without the constant fear of rain.

After a tarot card reading for a skeptical gentleman, Simon is given a fake check as payment and when he discovers this, he calls upon the forces of darkness and curses the guy.  The man is then killed by a falling flowerpot.  This is just the beginning of Simon's use of the dark arts.  I don't want to give away too much, but Simon runs into problems with his girlfriend's father and has enough with "the man" bumming him out and harassing his druggy friends so he uses his powers to declare war on the establishment and bring down the city... by making it rain a lot.

Ultimately, it's a good movie but it falls apart toward the end.  Andrew Prine's performance is what makes this film what it is, and I don't think the film would be nearly as good with another actor at the helm.  He makes an annoying but convincing witch.  There isn't much violence and only two deaths that I recall, but there are more than a few booby sightings.  Overall, Simon, King of the Witches is a unique, entertaining and campy little grindhouse tale.

Also, if you like ascots you will love this movie.

Violence Rating/Index: 2 out of 5
Booby Rating/Index: 3 out of 5

Smoke weed everyday.

Simon: King of the Witches
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See all of Brenda's nude scenes at MrSkin.com!

30 comments:

Sub-Radar-Mike said...

Ascot Rating: 4.5 out of 5

I can appreciate some good camp, so I'll probably give this a watch.

A Beer for the Shower said...

I do love a good ascot.

Bart said...

this movie is the breast.

Gyen Ming said...

Sounds pretty interesting, might get round to watching it at some point. Followed and supported

D4 said...

If it's got boobies in it, I'm up for it. Sure.

GMSoccerPicks said...

Man, i love this kind of movies, they should start producing em again instead of that transformers crap or all those stupid chick flix.

Henry said...

That looks like some good stuff there

Shutterbug said...

ascots are kinda gay! :D

Astronomy Pirate said...

I think you missed the message of the movie? The ascot is the witch, burn it!

Laughing Vault said...

some scenes are pretty hot

The Angry Lurker said...

You do find them don't you but it does have boobies.

my day in a sentence said...

I checked out the trailer. This movie must have been made on drugs of some sort.

Dilord said...

with sacrifices there are always boobies! awesome review sir!

Aaron M. Gipson said...

I know you don't like to give spoilers, but there's a darn good chance that I'll probably never see this movie anyway. So I gotta ask: when the Witch King kills the dude with the flowerpot, did they at least include the gag of having the dirt in the flower still standing upright on his face like in the cartoons?

It does some pretty interesting though kind of like Ken Kesey meets Dr. Strange...

Gryt said...

I've discovered only the best witch kings wear ascots in my extensive research.

Electric Addict said...

loving the special FX :)

movie68 said...

This looks awesome. You just can't beat obscure 60s and 70s horror.

That Bastard From Bellingham said...

SMOKE WEED. MAKE SCIENCE.

No, seriously this looks pretty cool as far as occult movies are considered.

And hey, '70's bewbs! Can't complain with that!!

Admittedly though...makes it rain...like, a lot a lot?

Huh...perhaps a metaphor or somethin'?

hoaks2 said...

You know, ascot's don't get the screen time they really deserve. Also, that last image caption made me lol.

Bonjour Tristesse said...

Lol at the ascots. The naked witch with skulls makes up for it though.

BigOryx said...

this film is brilliant, i saw it yesterday

Bigshanks BSc said...

Will def check it out, havent heard of any of these! I feel like a phleb :(

Shaw said...

Sounds worth a watch!

David said...

love these movies!

cellz said...

wow this movie looks really scary and the women look very beautiful movie someday i will make one like that. showing some love and following

Dan Carter said...

makes me wanna be a fair few years older.

Amber said...

My mom actually loves this movie!

Dr.Clones Monster Asylum said...

I remember this movie playing at a drive-in near my home when I was a kid , and lucky me , I got to see some boobies from a distance.

Come At Me Bro said...

This is great!

StigmataHandjob said...

This post may be the awesomest thing I've read today. The movie sounds hilarious too.

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