A Secret Cult of Lust-Craved Witches Torturing with Fire and Desire!
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| Daughters of Satan |
If you're not a fan of bad movies, you're probably not going to like this one. Don't get me wrong, the acting is indeed atrocious and there are numerous plot holes but it has Tom Selleck, a somewhat interesting story and more boobies than one would expect. So, I cautiously recommend Daughters of Satan for perhaps a drinking night. I really kind of liked this movie but most people won't.
Art dealer James Robertson (Tom Selleck) is summoned to a crappy little art shop to check out some art pieces that might be of value. He concludes that they are fakes and isn't interested but another painting catches his eye because one of the figures in it looks exactly like his wife, Chris (Barra Grant). It's a picture of three witches being burned alive and their scary looking Rottweiler.
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| "See this 'stache? Get on it." |
James buys the painting and takes it to show his wife at their Filipino home. Chris is disgusted by the picture but strangely recognizes the time and place of the witch burning that is depicted in it. James doesn't seem to care about her repulsion and hangs it above the couch. Other strange things begin to happen. A gang of Filipino field workers threatens to beat up James, or worse. Then, a woman shows up at their door and claims to be the new housekeeper but neither James or Chris placed an ad for one. Still, she is given the position. Then a Rottweiler named Nicodemus appears and, like the Dobermans Zeus and Apollo on Magnum P.I., wants nothing more than to tear Tom Selleck to hairy, little bits. Also, Chris hears voices at night whenever she takes off her crucifix and is compelled to kill her husband.As these people and the Rottweiler appear in the lives of Chris and James, they disappear from the painting that still hangs over the couch. The new housekeeper (she's really a witch) slowly places Chris under her spell and tries to eliminate, then seduce, then eliminate James so that the coven can begin anew. Will Chris fall under her spell completely? Yes, yes she will.
Violence Rating/Index: 2.5 out of 5
Booby Rating/Index: 2.5 out of 5
Here's a short video from Daughters of Satan to illustrate the skilled level of acting one can expect in this film and the tightness of the dialogue and Tom Selleck's shorts. If you make it all the way through it, you have my respect.







26 comments:
Good grief and a poor booby rating aswell.
Agreed. I was thinking I'd watch it for Tom, but then saw the booby rating.
I remember this one. I have some posts from my early days that I've been meaning to do the same thing to too.
Anything above a 2 is pretty good on the booby scale. I'll have to do a Booby Rating Quick Guide or something.
impressive, another film not to watch..
I've always thought that the DAR was a little snoody but calling them the Daughters of Satan is a little extreme.
Seriously though, I might check out this movie.
Available to watch on Hulu!!
http://www.hulu.com/watch/14178/daughters-of-satan
GREAT memories !
Have a super week.
i'd hit it.
Oh satan, corrupting people wives and such. Looks interesting.
edgy
2.5 sounds alright...gotta watch it!!!
SIQ POST BRO!!!
Needs a bigger boobie rating imo ;)
tap dat
gotta add this to my list
low boobie rating though
your review makes it sound pretty bad
This actually looks pretty terrible, even with Tom's fantastic mustache.
I actually do remember this one, but I approve of redoing for a few reasons, the first being I wasn't around from the very beginning, the second being it's good to see the fresh ratings. I approve.
I seriously think that 3 minute scene could become an internet meme all in itself! Good Lord that was awful!
I loved Magnum PI too, one of my favorite scenes in childhood TV was the one where he asked that guy if he saw the sun rise that morning then shot him in the face.
I'd like to have a doughter like that ehm i mean chick :)
don't think the booby rating is worth the watch for me :P
yeah nice review guess ill be skipping this one
Love these reviews, they always make me giggle
Sounds sick!
Anything above a 2 is good? I'll keep that in mind when I see your ratings then haha
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