6/21/11

Breeders (1986)

They're Gonna Love You ... 'Til You're Dead!

Breeders
This isn't a good movie and I didn't expect it to be.  The girls are quite average looking, the plot is stupid and the makeup and special effects are laughable, but don't let those things deter you from watching it.  Sure, it's pretty terrible but it's still entertaining.  If anything, the weak, stupid plot and laughable special effects are what make it worth watching.  I wish the girls were better looking, though.

There's an alien menace lurking under the city streets that finds pleasure in terrorizing and forcibly copulating with virgin girls.  That's the plot.  The police are incompetent and can't figure out what's going on or who is attacking these women who suffer from amnesia after being violated and therefore can't describe their attacker.  But a detective and a lady doctor, who is the only female character who doesn't get naked in this movie, discover that an alien is behind these rapes and that it dwells under the Empire State Building.  The movie climaxes at a subterranean breeding pool where the rape victims frolic in a tub of alien jizz as the detective and the good doctor battle the monster.

"You gonna get raped."
There are lots of boobies in Breeders, but as I've mentioned, they're of average quality.   The whole film seems to be based around girls getting undressed for no apparent reason, like while talking to their mothers on the phone, or preparing supper, or after doing a line of cocaine.  How strange that a low budget horror movie would rely on excessive nudity to compensate for shitty everything else. 

The director went on to do gay porn.

Violence Rating/Index: 3.5 out of 5
Booby Rating/Index: 3.5 out of 5  - Click to see the nude scenes.




30 comments:

Zombie said...

Ah!! Her face!

The Angry Lurker said...

....."where the rape victims frolic in a tub of alien jizz", what a vision......yuuuuuckkkk.

Kicking Rocks said...

the poster gives me the creeps!!!

LasseEA said...

They cant breed now :)

RedHeadRob said...

Alien jizz frolic? Who hasn't done that before?

Mr. Cactus said...

"Rape victims frolicking" is enough to spark my interest.

Germs said...

That is one seriously disturbing front cover

Bonjour Tristesse said...

That is an awesome line. Reading your review is better than watching the film.

Astronomy Pirate said...

Gay porn huh? That seems like a good job advancement, haha. It reminds me of how one of my gay friends tried to turn breeders into a slur for straight people... it didn't work, and not all straight people have kids.

Rudolf said...

nice post!

thenitefalls said...

If there's a lot of girls undressing for no apparent reason count me in!

AllenTesch said...

"This movie sucks in every way, but don't let that stop you from watching it." I lol'd
Any movie that bad better have a lot of booby.

-E- said...

i don't know, this one looks sort of good.

Bart said...

vagina faces are always scarey

Todd Mason said...

This is simply one of the worst films I've seen. Glad it entertains you, somehow...boring as shit where not offensive to me, and any erotic charge I'd get is drowned in the jism tub (and the boredom and the stupidity of the non-funny kind). But it's certainly a curio.

Jay said...

"The director went on to do gay porn."

ahahaha, maybe i'll avoid this one. :D

Henry said...

hahahha- frolicking in what now?

D4 said...

The most appealing thing in this movie to me is chicks in alien jizz. I mean, that's kinky.

Youu should also put a nsfw on the video there. I don't mind, but I'm sure someone in a future might.

Aaron M. Gipson said...

I don't know, even average looking boobies are still boobies. I find it kind of trite that they were trying to cash in on the popularity of ET though with that tag line "this alien doesn't want to phone home" in the trailer. Man, it's amazing how many really bad flicks there are out there....

Copyboy said...

Just seeing it gives me the willies. BTW...I made you new blog of the day.

Major.Mack said...

Another classic, should do in blu-ray

hoaks2 said...

I lol'd on the caption. And yeah, this sounds like a good cheese-fest, but I'm sure cuter girls would ensure more enjoyment. Because nothing makes a cheese-fest better than some nice tail.

Malkavian said...

Hahahaha sounds like a true Classic. Gay porn you say??? well that sucks...

Jack of Diamonds said...

Odd post, but I like it!

ZedWord said...

That trailer cracks me the hell up. It really doesn't attempt to hide its sleazy setup, does it?

Shinmeiryuu said...

Jeez! LOL, now I'm curious about this movie. 'Wonder if it's in any way a precursor in content to the guy's porn career.

XMX said...

I think I'll watch it!

Anonymous said...

Totally the best movie ever

Anonymous said...

You'll love this movie its really fun to watch.

Anonymous said...

Totally rules I love this movie

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