Man's Best Friend is Now Man's Worst Fiend...
|Zoltan, Hound of Dracula|
Nope. If I had seen this movie when I was a kid I would have peed the bed for weeks. Not that I ever peed my bed... except those two nights where I dreamed that I was relieving myself in a flower bed in the back yard but was actually soiling my Jedi pajamas. But my mommy said I was growing too fast for my bladder to keep up! Stop mocking me!
This tale begins when Romanian soldiers - or maybe they're Russian - discover an underground crypt while blasting the ground for some reason. Resulting tremors knock one of the coffins to the ground from the tomb wall, and one of the soldiers pulls a wooden stake out of the covered corpse that was in the broken coffin. Zoltan is unleashed!
He springs from his coffin, kills the soldier and releases one of Dracula's undead servants, Veidt Schmidt, from another sarcophagus. Together they set off for America to find Dracula's last heir to make him into a vampire and begin the undead family anew.
|"I said, roll over!"|
If you think this movie sounds like crap, you're mostly right. It was actually better than I thought it was going to be, but that's not saying a whole lot because I had very, very low expectations. Even so, I can't really recommend Zoltan, Hound of Dracula because it sucked... I made a pun. But whatever, watch it if you want to. You never listen to me anyway!
Violence Rating: 3 out of 5
Booby Rating: 0.5 out of 5? I think I saw some cleavage somewhere.
Here's the movie in three minutes and twenty seconds. It's all you need to see.