A young bride... left alone to the lewd passions of an evil dwarf!
I'm going to come right out and say it. I don't really like this movie. In fact, I'm not even sure why I chose to do a review on it. I saw it for the first time about nine months ago and thought it was ok, but nothing special. But trying to watch it again for this review sucked the life out of me. Perhaps it's because I'm not a huge fan of this type of sadistic sexploitation sub-genre, or maybe it's because the film's only redeeming quality is that it has a sinful dwarf. And he's not even that sinful... but Anne Sparrow is hot.
Essentially the plot is this: a pair of penniless newlyweds, Peter (Tony Eades) and Mary (Anne Sparrow) need a cheap place to stay and they chance upon an affordable rooming house, which happens to be owned by a crazy drunk lady who likes to dress up as Carmen Miranda and sing, and they rent a room. She has a son named Olaf (Torben Bille), a dwarf, who just so happens to be of the sinful variety and who really seems to like plaid.
What Peter and Mary don't know is that the drunk crazy lady is also a pimp and keeps women chained up on the top floor. Olaf lures them to the rooming house with toys where the women are drugged with heroin and used by paying customers. The heroin is concealed in stuffed animals that Olaf gets from a dealer named "Santa" who owns a toy shop called "Santa's Work Shop," and then smuggled to the residence to cool the addictions of the caged heat upstairs. Peter is a struggling writer and is forced to take a job to make ends meet and of course he gets hired to work at Santa's Work Shop.
|Here comes Santa Claus.|
While Peter is in Paris unknowingly acting as a drug mule, Anne begins snooping around the rooming house and finds the locked quarters where the drugged-up hookers are kept. She is discovered by the crazy drunk lady and her flannel wearing dwarf and they proceed to chain her up as one of the prostitutes. Will she get away? Will Peter return in time to prevent her from becoming a sex crazed drug addict? You'll have to watch this cinematic monstrosity to find out.
I do recommend that everyone see this movie once, but only once, as a second viewing may make you so depressed that you'll want to shove a cane up your own vagina Here is what makes this movie unique:
- A sinful freakin' dwarf!
- Heroin addicted sex slaves
- Drunk old women performing musical numbers
- A drug dealer called Santa Claus
- A walking stick and a woman's vajayjay.
Violence Rating: 2 out of 5
Booby Rating: 5 out of 5 - Click here to see the Nude Scenes.